Bad structure/bad storytelling
So this guy doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. His buddy gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The two hunters had been out in the woods when the guy had collapsed. The buddy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. The operator says “Calm down. I can help.” The guy on the phone says “OK, now what?” The operator says “First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard.
Good structure/good storytelling
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. The guy doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says “OK, now what?” (‘Spike ‘wrote world’s best joke’– courtesy of BBC: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/5064020.stm )
That, my friends, is how important structure is.
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